space cadette.

i dont really understand myself sometimes. i am so acutely aware of some things and other things? theyre right in front of my face yet i don’t notice them.

part of my job that annoys me is the grandiose scale of peoples’ lack of situational awareness. people get in an airport and suddenly time just stops. they fall into a black hole of manners, personal space, logic and anything else that makes a human generally tolerable.

i’ve been worrying myself lately because i feel like i’m slipping on that scary slope.  i do things like go an entire day with my bra on INSIDE OUT. this is one of those full scale lacy, padded underwire jobbies. what the hell? i did that today.

(how can i sit and recount exact details of a couple years of a painful relationship… at the same time my drawls are on the wrong way?!?!)

i also tend to forget peoples’ faces and conversations quickly after an encounter if it wasnt something that was truly impactful or had to do with a dude tryin to holler (sorry, it’s shallow but my biological clock is strangling my brain).

i find that many small details which i used to pick up on have slipped past my consciousness and off into that black hole i was talking about.

i feel bad and unthoughtful. i feel kind of spacey and rude. but then…. this evening i began to think about the millions of little details that i am actually faced with every day and the hundreds of faces i see and conversations i have. i realized i might not be a total spaztastic bozo but rather i have a highly developed consciousness. i am inundated with scenes, words, faces, scents, sounds, ideas and whatever else a mind can perceive and maybe that brilliant little nugget in my head has learned how to figure out what’s important and pare down what i need to ingest.

it’s that split-second prioritizing that my lifestyle demands.

now i dont feel so bad.

but i’m telling you, if i start wearing more clothing backward or inside out, please have me committed.

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